well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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