about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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