I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
