hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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