I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
