I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
NoShamevember. You game?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
