so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
