I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
