Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
