I wish life had little blips of pornography
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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