so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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