I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
