i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
