HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
