I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
