Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
