New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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