im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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