i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
