He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't deserve a penis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
