we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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