Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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