If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
