As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
