trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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