I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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