Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
