Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
