I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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