You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
