My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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