i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
