It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
