i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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