This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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