I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
