You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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