only you would photoshop your dick
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
