Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
