when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
