So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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