He asked to "fluff my boner.."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
