You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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