Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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