I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize