I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i've created a new STD.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
