you guys were way drunker than both of me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
sex in a hospital.. check
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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