i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I understand Curling. That high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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