1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just come out here and I will go home with you...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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