Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
