i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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