im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
