hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
