Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I've blown a few things in my day
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
