haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
