My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Come see our sink grown plant.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
