it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize