I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
