420 ftw
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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