do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
