so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
third nipple confirmed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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