fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
