the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
