I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
