I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
