shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
