im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
