stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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