have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
