In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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