Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize