when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
