Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
