Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize